


An incident vaguely involving peanuts

by Joe_Alex



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Jealous!Harry, M/M, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt, fluffy idiocy, merlahad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 08:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe_Alex/pseuds/Joe_Alex
Summary: Prompt Fill for: Awkward Merlin being asked out. Featuring Jealous Harry and amused Eggsy and Roxy





	An incident vaguely involving peanuts

Harry was late again.

Now, that in itself wasn’t a very noteworthy fact but this time he would regret being late, Roxy mused and took a sip out of Eggsy’s Sex on the Beach as she watched the scene in front of her unfold.

They had decided to go for drinks after work, Merlin wanted to catch the last minutes of the game and Eggsy and Roxy decided they were both in need of some down-time.  
There was something highly amusing about going to the pub like the most mundane co-workers in all of Britain to relax from defusing a bomb just outside central London or preventing the assassination of an Arab Prince or saving the world in some other way.

Here they were, three superspies drinking terrible beer and juicy cocktails with too much ice in them, just like Sally from accounting and Brad the smelly cabdriver.

On their way out, they had stopped by Arthur’s office and Harry had assured them he’d meet them there in no more than fifteen minutes; Merlin’s eyeroll had been exactly as predictable as Harry’s tardiness.

So now they were here, Merlin with his eyes fixed on the dusty screen hanging above the bar, watching twenty men run after a ball, and Eggsy asking Roxy to hold his drink while he tried to snatch some peanuts off of one of the tables.

Roxy herself was far more interested in the semi-young woman that had been eying up Merlin from the other end of the counter for a good part of the last five minutes and was now getting up from her seat to _coincidentally_ choose the spot right next to her and Merlin to order a new drink.

“Good game, right?” She flashed him a smile as she took her glass, filled with an alarmingly red beverage and passed the barkeeper a couple of notes.  
Merlin blinked at her. The score read a 0:0 tie.  
Now, Roxy knew nothing of football whatsoever but even she could tell that a result like this was hardly an indication of a thrilling match.

Not that Roxy believed for a second that football was the topic the woman had had in mind when she’d come over to approach Merlin, but an angle this weak made her skin crawl in second-hand embarrassment.  
The woman was still smiling at Merlin, seemingly unaware of the deliberately awkward silence between them.  
Merlin, too, seemed to realize that their newest addition wouldn’t disappear into thin air so in lieu of a response he inclined his head in a way that could mean anything but really meant nothing and gave her a polite smile.

As far as nonverbal communication goes no answer is a pretty clear answer in Roxy’s book but apparently the same could not be said for their new company, seeing as she didn’t make any move to return to her former place.

Instead, she leaned back against the bar in that uncomfortable looking way people in movies tend to do just that, elbows reaching back, spine arched, and one foot propped up.  
Merlin was just about to turn his attention back to the game when their new company started talking again.  
“This place is so dreamy” she said, looking around the room as if she only had just discovered its existence.

This time Merlin actually laughed out loud. There were surely many words that could be used to describe the establishment they were frequenting at the moment – such as suspiciously empty, cheap and vintage, if you didn’t want to say old and beat down – but dreamy was about the least fitting. They didn’t come here because they liked the place, they came here because it was within walking distance from the tailor shop.

Red cocktail lady was apparently about as perceptive as a brick wall and interpreted laughter as agreement to her previous statement.

She took a sip of her drink and made an exaggerated sound of delight.  
“Oh my god, you _have_ to try this!” She insistently held her glass out to Merlin, who in return looked at her with an expression that bordered between bewilderment and horror. Roxy couldn’t help but snort out a laugh herself at seeing the man who taught seduction-classes for a living (amongst other things) shell-shocked by this abhorrent attempt at flirting directed at him.

The look on Merlin’s face would have been enough to send anyone scuttling as far away as possible within the minute but the bad thing about being passive aggressive is that it requires a certain level of intelligence and/or perceptiveness of the person you’re encountering.

Meanwhile Eggsy had found peanuts – and a table to go with them, so when Harry came in, a fashionable 35 minutes late, he sat down next to him, not bothering to offer an apology for his timing.

Roxy finished Eggsy’s drink through the straw to hide her grin. Poor Merlin.  
A movement caught her eye and she saw Eggsy waving at her from across the room where he was sitting with the always late Harry Hart.  
She ordered two Guinness and another colourful atrocity and made her way over to the table, leaving Merlin with his highly enjoyable conversation.

Eggsy greeted her with a _Cheers, bruv_ as she set down their drinks and pulled two more chairs over from a table nearby. Harry took a swig and then looked around before asking about Merlin’s whereabouts.

Roxy gestured vaguely into the direction of the counter, where she had left Merlin to presumably die of boredom. Eggsy craned his neck and after a quick assessment of the situation he turned to Harry with a grin.  
“Looks like your man is in need of saving, Harry.”

An alarmed look flickered over Harry’s face as he turned around fully. By now the game had ended and therefore Merlin’s only viable distraction had been taken away, forcing him to deal with the lady who had by now fully turned to him and made grand gestures while merrily chatting away, apparently being satisfied enough by Merlin’s polite half smile and his infrequent nods and one-word answers.

“The fuck.”

Eggsy turned his attention back to Harry and had to keep from guffawing at the expression his mentor was wearing as he glared daggers at the lady chatting up his husband.

The fact that after what must be nearing three decades of being in a relationship Harry was still ready to fight anyone tooth and claw who dared even look at Merlin would never cease to amuse Eggsy. Merlin himself seemed to deal better with that sort of thing, even though everyone could tell that he seemed a bit more content since Harry had stopped taking on Honeypot-missions.

“Please, excuse me for a second” Harry’s voice sounded as level as always but Eggsy noticed that he had clenched his fists as he got up from his chair and walked over to where Merlin was still being talked at, his face and posture a picture of boredom and displeasure.

Merlin caught sight of Harry coming towards him and had to keep from letting out a relieved sigh. He had wanted to avoid being straight-out rude and had instead hoped his chatty companion would be able to tell by his polite but curt answers that he wasn’t particularly interested in furthering their acquaintance. Nor the conversation about classic poetry she was currently trying to engage him in – what was it about him that made people think he was into that sort of thing?

If Merlin was polite, Harry was anything but in the way he stepped up to them, his shoulder turned just so to put some more distance between the girl with the ever closer inching hand and the wizard in distress.

“Hello darling”, he said a bit louder than strictly necessary and with a hand on his nape he pulled Merlin in for a kiss. “Sorry it took me so long, hope you didn’t miss me too much.”  
Harry’s voice was disgustingly cheery and the man seemingly oblivious to Merlin’s company. He took Merlin’s hand in his and linked their fingers.

This public display of affection was unusual for them, but Merlin didn’t seem to mind too much, as he let himself be pulled away with a quick nod in the direction of Finger-girl, who all but stared open-mouthed and seemed quite taken aback by the turn of events. Harry didn’t let go of Merlin’s hand until they got to the table where Roxy and Eggsy were waiting, trying not to look like they were having the time of their lives watching the whole thing.

Now that he had Merlin safely at his side, Harry seemed to relax fully. He took one of the peanuts Eggsy had left over and popped it into his mouth.

“Sorry about that Hamish, but your sweater goes way better with my tie than with her skirt. I do hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”

Merlin shook his head and took a swig of his ale.  
“She called it soccer,” he said with a pained grimace.

He was a ridiculous man and Harry had to kiss him for that and he knew what it actually meant when Merlin said “Get off me ye cunt”.

The rest of the evening passed peacefully and without further interruptions and if Harry kept an arm on the backrest of Merlin’s chair in a seemingly casual way and shot some glares in a certain direction, then there was really no need to point that out.

And if Roxy noticed a rather prominent hickey on Merlin’s neck when she met him in the gym the next day, then she didn’t say anything.

**Author's Note:**

> So this got slightly out of hand, but i still hope i did it some justice :)  
> hmu on tumblr at whiskey-not-entirely-straight for prompts or to scream about Merlahad
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes i get an average of four hours of sleep and I can't proofread my own stories without vomiting so please do forgive me


End file.
